Great Expectations

Tonight I took the 3 monkeys out for dinner ... Alone! I know, what was I thinking ... Well I was thinking let someone else do the cooking and cleaning, but I digress.  I was already frustrated with the wobbly table, dirty high hair and slow service when the girls start fighting over crayons, then space, then napkins etc.  A few empty threats later they retreat to their neutral corners. Food finally arrives and they are quiet for a while but as we reach the halfway point Nyah starts watching the tv over the bar (oh did I forget to mention they sat a mother with 3 young children in the bar!!!!) yes so she's not eating, Reyna is playing with Kyan so neither of them are eating ... I spend the rest of dinner reminding the girls to take a bite every 30 seconds and attempting to keep a bite of food in Kyan's mouth long enough for him to chew and realize that he may actually like it.  

Defeated I pay the bill, vow to never attempt this again without reinforcements and we get up to leave.  An older woman stops me (I'm convinced she is about to reprimand me for bringing my unruly children to a restaurant and ruining the quiet dinner she was hoping to enjoy with her friend) instead she does the opposite and compliments me on my "WELL BEHAVED CHILDREN"?!?!  MY WHAT??? I was dumbfounded!  My impression of the evening was that I'd irritated all the other patrons and that my children should never be allowed to eat in public.  Meanwhile this sweet old lady thought my kids were "precious".  

On the quiet drive home I thought about the high standards, which i attribute to too many years spent working with young children, I hold my children to.  In the 13 years I spent working with kids, I had a lot of live examples of what I DIDN'T want my kids to turn out like.  Maybe if I had lower standards of how children should behave in a restaurant I too would have considered my outing a total success.  They didn't start a food fight, they stayed in their seats (mostly), they did eat despite the distractions, their fighting was admittedly a whispered argument, there were no tears, no tantrums, no spills or broken dishes.  But somehow in my mind where I expect my children to be perfect little angels in all situations be it public or in my own home this was a dining disaster!  I'm sure if the above did actually happen I would have left that restaurant with a self inflicted fork in my jugular.  I quickly (without admitting to the monkeys that I overreacted) forgave them and let them have ice cream and an extra half hour to read before bed.  

Will this experience change the expectations I have for my children?  Absolutely not.  But it has given me a much needed perspective and I can now be less critical of myself knowing that it could be so much worse!  (But my kids don't need to know that)